Wife called the cops because I wanted sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 51 years old and my wife is 35. My first wife divorced me three years ago. I am living in America.

My two children turned against me after their mother and I separated. I got involved with this woman to whom I am now married. Everything was going well, but one Sunday night we had a fight and she threatened to call the police on me. She is an American and I pressed her for a little sex but she resisted. I tried to force myself on her and she called the police. Two young officers came and when I explained to them what happened, they asked her if she really wanted to press charges. She said that she wanted to teach me a lesson. The policemen said "Mr So and so, you can be charged for spousal rape and we do not want to arrest you, so leave this woman alone." I told them thanks and they left.

I have not touched my wife since then. She has tried to make up with me and to be nice to me, but I do not trust her. Can you imagine if these officers did not talk to her and listen to me? I would have been arrested and forced to sleep in jail. Tell all Jamaican men that when they come to America and marry American girls, they should be aware that their wives can get them arrested if they try to force themselves on them. They don't have any right to have sex with their wives if they do not consent.

So, Pastor, here I am with this woman. She is living in my house for free. She does not assist me in paying the mortgage, and because I wanted some of her good stuff and put a little pressure on her, she called the police on me. I have already gone to see a lawyer. I am going to divorce her. Do you agree with me? When I divorce this woman, I am going to get married again, but this time I am going to make sure that I marry a girl from Jamaica. I have wasted so much money on America women. I don't know when I am going to get over what has happened to me in these two marriages.

R.K.

Dear R.K.,

I regret hearing that you have had two failed marriages. You did not say what caused you and your first wife to divorce.

You married a young woman the second time around. Things often go better when it is the second marriage, but not all the time. Some men have been married six or seven times. Your second wife was very tough on you. I am glad that the police officers were very good to you. They warned you and explained the law as it relates to marital rape.

You see, sir, even in marriage, if sex is not consensual, it can be considered rape. The Bible teaches that when a man is married, his body belongs to his wife and her body belongs to him. People who understand what a good married relationship is all about, don't fight over sex. It seems to me that your wife now regrets that she called the police on you and she wants to make it up to you. Don't you think that you should give her a second chance?

I suggest that you talk to a family counsellor in your area and also a lawyer before you decide to divorce your wife.

Pastor