My secret past with a married man won’t stop my political dreams

Dear Pastor,

I am a woman in my early 20s and I am living at home with my parents and two brothers.

From I was a child, I hated this place and I was always saying that as soon as I get older, probably when I turned 18, I would fall in love, and a man would move me out of this place.

I started to fool around boys when I was 14 years old, and by the time I reached 15, I had sex twice with two guys who live on my street. I had school friends who were doing the same thing, but I used to do my schoolwork.

The guys who had sex with me were older. The first man I had sex with was married. He asked my age and I told him I was 16, even though I hadn't reached that age yet. I did not tell him that I was a virgin. It was after we had sex and I was bleeding that he asked me what was happening. I told him no, I was a virgin. He started to quarrel and he told me that he was sorry for putting me on my back. He gave me some money and took me home. I have always liked him, but whenever I call him, he reminds me that he has a wife.

I am in college and I go to work in America every summer to help to pay my fees. It is not easy going. Now that I have travelled twice, I am appreciating my home country Jamaica more. My goal is to become a politician. My parents are supporters of a particular party, but I am not going to support that one. I want my country to be proud of me. I know I can make a difference.

I am already active in the movement of the party. People tell me I am going to do well. Thanks for the work that you do. Many of us young people respect you and look up to you.

R.

Dear R.,

Let me begin by telling you that I wish you well as you plan your future. You have made mistakes growing up as a girl, and although you cannot change what has happened in the past, you can be determined not to make the same mistakes as you move forward.

It is important to note that the age of consent in Jamaica is 16. It is a criminal offence for an adult to engage in sexual intercourse with anyone below that age.

While you did not state the age of the married man, based on what you have described, it is possible that he may have taken advantage of you. Please remember there is no statute of limitations for this type of criminal offence.

As you go forward, I will urge that you put God first in your life and in all that you do.

I wish you well.

Pastor